Sometimes I wonder

how many million un-loved and abandoned blogs are out there in the virtual world. Must be a heck of a lot. I have decided that blogging is frekn hard work. The ladies out there that do it daily - I dont know how they do it!!! I have huge intentions and every day I am planning and plotting my next posts but the reality is that I struggle to get blogging once a month! and when I do get on, I try using the delay feature so I can schedule posts to go over a week etc but yeah, its hard work. Another thing I find hard work is the photos - to edit them to ensure there is no personal info in them, and to attempt to watermark them (I never used to but with pinterest etc I want to now) hmm... I'll keep dreaming about being a regular blogger!!

WELL its been a while.

Rather than try and catch up from where we left off. I will just carry on from today.

I feel so inspired right now.

Spring and Summer do that to me.

But then again Autumn does too.

I think its just the long dragged out Southland winters that get me down.

Right now I am loving...

How the air smells, cut grass, spring flowers, sunshine, spring rain.

The sounds of my neighborhood seem to be clearer, or spread further. I can hear beautiful laughter and play from the school over our back fence. I can head laughter and play from all the houses with kiddos on my street.

Birds sing.

The feel of sunshine on me as I garden. It actually makes me want to garden.

The feeling of dirt under my fingernails.

The satisfaction of washing on the line. In winter here it never happens.

Windows open all over the house. And for me sleeping with a little one open in my room. I love the crisp yet not too cold night air in my room.

The colours, the sky, the flowers, the grass, the trees coming back to life.

The world is coming alive around me and me with it.

I feel like a better mother & friend when I am inspired.

I feel like a better person, a better soul when I am inspired.

Yet I sometimes let myself get uninspired. I stop doing things that make me happy. I don't know why.

When did I last own a lovely scented candle? I love candles, yet I don't own any.

When did I last draw? I know I am not good but I love the feeling anyway.

When did I last sew? scrapbook? write (beyond notes in a notebook)?

I find such satisfaction in those things. Yet I let myself stop doing them.

I am back gardening. Growing food for my family. 

I have many projects and ideas brewing.

Time to make being inspired a daily job.

Because I am a better person when I am.

July?

Now its December!

Its been a hard 6 months for us both!!

No sleep.
Relationship issues, money probs, kid probs, stress, so many appointments, so much to do.....

I wanna minimalise my life!

SIMPLIFY!

Im sitting her with a sleeping baby in my lap. He hasnt slept through the night in 5 weeks since he got a throat infection, started comfort sucking all night, started hourly feedings, and since then has got 5 teeth! I'm exhausted! How long can I survive on so litle sleep? Its amazing.

My sisters came and helped me tidy my dump up and what a difference. I can amange it. Its a mess right now but less than an hour and it will all be under control. I love it.

Homeschooling has turnied into unschooling/home ed and I love it. We went to the hom,eschoolers group on Friday but it wasnt too fun for the kids, they got a bit bullied which doesnt impress me when that is what I want to avoid :-(

I feel a lot happier.

Back on the path

Well I have been a bit off the path of late.
Two surgeries and some health scares have kept me busy.

But its time to get back on the path.. the path I want to be on.
I know Ashlee is feeling the same.
I want a more natural life for my kids, for my home, for myself. I want to be kinder to the earth.

Stage one with the help of Wendyl the green goddess and her books and website I am going to work on replacing all my store bought chemical cleaners with more natural and made by me alternatives. I will be honest and say I will use up what I have as I cant afford to waste things but when its time to replace I hope to have new alternatives in place.

I also want to get to the bottom of my mending pile (not that that is overly "natural" or "green") I hate having things sitting there being wasted when they could be being worn. My mending pile often sits there for a year or more then I get rid of whats in it as we don't fit the items anymore.

In Invercargill we have just recently had our recycling programme improved, we have new wheelie bins including a huge one for recycling each fortnight and we can recycle so much more than we could before. This is something that really excites me.. recycling is COOL I also noticed in town today they have new recycle bins around town for bottles and cans etc so pleased to see Southland get on the recycling wagon. I hope to reduce our rubbish (that goes to landfill) to half a wheelie bin a week. I need to work on composting our food waste and recycling more and more.

i feel like crap. I feel down.
I havent been this down since last year.

fresh start, fresh start.

its 5.20am and i am going to make a hot drink and start again.

i CAN get on top of this.

i dont need others putting me down.

BE YOURSELF, because those who care dont matter, and those that matter dont care.

Its not true.

Depression is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign that you have been trying to be strong for too long . . .
I am strong, but I am not invincible, I cannot do everything. I need help and I can ask for it. I need to look after me to look after others. I do not need to do everything now. I can get through this!

I can get through this! I feel wonderful! I take my drugs every day, I am looking after myself, trying to se the positive in every situation and not be stressed out. Life is good!!!!

I feel like I am making progress. Some days are crap, some times I get nothing done. But in general the house is tidy, I am on top of the washing, and I get some sleep. I feel like I am getting better.

Ok, so last week's grocery shop wasnt successful. But this week was!
And the breadmaker is a huge success -w hite loaves, buns etc - I will never have to buy bread again!!!
A friend cleaned out my fridge today and her and another friend commented on all my food - fresh food - and 'how can you not eat processed stuff' - well, I could rattle off what we had been eating lately - sandwiches, fruit, yoghurt (organic), cheese and crackers, hot dinners and hot lunches etc - they were impressed. I have been trying to cook meat every few days for lunches - I tend to cut it into a salad or rice salad, he tends to make sandwiches. Healthy, filling and yummy.

Bought some pocket nappies this week, 10 of them. Not sure how I will like pocket nappies but these are bright and pretty and have snaps. My Real Nappies are great and easy but white is a little boring. I thought the new ones would give me motivation to get back into cloth, since I have two kids in nappies!!

I also bought the solids starter kit for making baby food, ok, so its just fancy ice cubes but again its about a new useful tool for encouraging motivation!!